Love Bugs Don’t Make You Lovable

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. They say you are what you eat. I thought this was true.

Girl Person says she eats healthy so that she feels better. But she eats so many tomatoes, I’m surprised she isn’t one.

If Boy Person was what he ate, he would be a peanut butter cup with a big, fermented bottle of kombucha.

Or if it’s a Tuesday, tacos.

And if Digby Pancake was what he ate, he would be a giant pancake drooling with maple syrup. No surprise there.

But what I thought was surprising was the fact that if you are what you eat, and you’re trying to be more likable…let’s say…like me, maybe you should eat something that helps with that. Maybe it would be a good idea so that my eagerness to arrest others with a snarl and a deep growl would be softened by a newfound ability to be lovable sometimes too.

And so, as we were overtaken by a deluge of Florida lovebugs, I wondered what would happen if my ability to arrest bugs and eat them was combined with love bugs being the subject of my experiment. Love bugs. Lovable. Maybe this would work. Definitely multitasking.

So I spent my day and the day after that with this new activity of eating lovebugs. Boy Person tried to stop me.

He even talked to the lovebugs and told them that maybe if they would stop doing that, they could get away.

Girl Person tried to distract me with peanut butter cookies. Anything and everything. But little did she know that in order for me to be more lovable, I needed to eat a lot of bugs. A lot. There was no stopping me.

So I ate and I ate and I ate. I kept waiting for the loving feeling to happen. It never did.

You see, we all have our own personalities. Sure. I may not be as nice as Digby. But Digby doesn’t have my sense of direction. I may not have a good sense of humor like Digby. But he doesn’t have my affinity for scaring off any trespasser that comes to our campsite. We all have our own strengths. Our own weaknesses. And maybe some parts can’t be changed. But do we want them to?

Sure. I’ll keep eating lovebugs because I want to. Not because I expect miracles. Being lovable is Digby’s department. And my department is layaway.

Maybe I’ll pick up the love later.

Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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