This is Deputy Digby Pancake. Granny Person used to tell me that I would forget my butt if it wasn’t attached. Well, no one forgets a butt made out of pancakes, or a butt that looks like pancakes. So I have never forgot it. But yesterday? Girl Person said that she forgot to remember. Not her butt…but Granny Person. She forgot to remember that it had been four years since they said goodbye.
Now, I miss Granny Person too. I miss sitting on her couch eating peanuts and watching the news. I miss hanging out with Cuddles and complaining about everything, because that was fun. But I don’t miss missing her.
And on days like yesterday, well, I assumed that forgetting to miss her would have been the best thing to do in the situation.
Dogs live in the moment. And it’s not often that we try to remember the past. Sure, sure. We remember persons and we remember Granny Person.
But I am not sure what good it does to make yourself sad on purpose by remembering a goodbye. I am not sure what good it does to dwell on stuff you would like to forget. Because when you do that, it crowds out the good memories. It crowds out the good times. There isn’t room in the RV for everything. And there isn’t room in our heads for everything either. So what do you want to put there?
Girl Person was feeling pretty guilty that it took her half the day to remember that it had been four years since we saw Granny Person. When she said that, I didn’t think about the last day. I thought about sneaking peanuts and snacks, and when other family persons would walk in, Granny Person and Girl Person would scramble like eggs to hide their merlot and diet coke. I thought about how many times I tried to jump up on her country counter full of old grease in mason jars to be saved for a rainy day, when I secretly hoped she would fry me up some pancakes in that. I thought about how Brickle thought it was his job to protect Granny Person from anyone who came in and how he and Cuddles would have secret conversations about taking over the couch from my pancake butt. I thought about all of this. And I forgot about the rest.
You see, forgetting to remember isn’t being disrespectful to who is gone. It’s saying that you choose to remember what was good when they were here. It’s about choosing to remember the best.
It doesn’t take much for many of us to feel discouraged. It doesn’t take much for many of us to get sad. But if we took all the good memories we choose to remember and forget to remember the bad ones, how much better will we be? The good things about the persons that we miss will stay with us. And the bad ones will be forgotten.
You know, there are times when I do think about walking thru that orange grove to her house every day at 6 p.m. to get in peanut time before the news started. There are times when I think about how great it was to spend so much time with her, have sleepovers and yeah, it was great to see Girl Person and her be the best of friends. But I also remember how many times that she told Girl Person to be happy. I also remember how many times she told Girl Person that she loved her. And if she were here now, she would say to forget about the sad, go eat some peanuts and be happy. And that’s what I remember today, yesterday, and every day after that. The rest, I’m gonna forget about it. Where’s my butt?
-Deputy Digby Pancake
This past Sunday, December 16, was the 8th anniversary of my grandmother’s passing. It was also the 110th anniversary of her parents’ wedding. She was 101 when she passed away. She was so much fun, had such a wonderful sense of humor, and was always remembering funny stories from her youth. Sometimes, she would tell the same one five minutes after she’d already told it. At that age, short-term memory might be, well a little short-term. But I loved hearing those stories and didn’t mind hearing them again. At her 100th birthday party, a huge family reunion on a gorgeous late October day, she was in the house reading a Dean Koontz book . When someone asked her if she wanted to come outside where everyone else was visiting under the big shade tree, she just said, “Oh, I’ll be out there later. But these people are in an awful pickle and I can’t possibly put this book down until they’re safe.”
great story, the truth in every word, thanks
The coolest story ever….to have had a gift li,e this lovely lady in your life….I would have given a bundle of love and time I’d I could have had…or better yet…if my children could have had this loving beautiful jar saving person in their life..I say you are lucky in love. And that brings me joy.💕