This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. Grand Canyon? Yesterday, Deputy Digby arrested you. And I allowed him to do so. Why? Because there were so many other things that I needed and wanted to arrest here. And I had to save my energy. Even at the beginning of the week, it took all of my energy to arrest a fellow camper. And as the title of this blog puts it, we have changed the names of the guilty.
As we were leaving Sedona at the beginning of the week, we had a fellow camper ask Girl Person to let their dogs out while they were gone. Seems as though one of the fellow camper’s dogs was not feeling well…named…R2D2. Well, of course she would. But sometimes, Girl Person does stuff without thinking, and this time she did not think. Even though she thought she was good with dogs, it did not occur to her that not all dogs know her. And her going into a camper with a dog from Stars Wars didn’t seem out of the ordinary. Until R2D2 tried to bite her. And then succeeded. Five times. I though R2D2 was supposed to save the day. Not ruin the day.
As Girl Person finally left the stranger’s camper after giving up and not being able to call Hans Solo…because we had no cell service, she felt defeated. Her pride was hurt over a robot dog not liking her. She should have put her hair in buns like Princess Leia but her hair ain’t even like that on a shampoo day. However. She still was concerned for the dogs as they could not go to the bathroom and try to bite other people. So she drove with her hurt hand and dirty hair to a place she could call the stranger camper to tell her she could not put a leash on R2D2. And as she was doing so, the arrest report was written with the real name of the guilty which I will not disclose here, and an arrest was made. And little did I know, that was only the start of the arrests for the week. Lesson learned, Girl Person? Don’t do that again. You know…try to let a strange R2D2 dog out.
As you heard, from Deputy Digby’s own, dirty mouth yesterday, he is afraid of heights and the Grand Canyon was arrested by him…Fred. Yes, I have changed Digby’s name to Fred. I allowed him to do this arrest, because I have never saw him so afraid of something other than a bath. But as he arrested the Grand Canyon, he had to be arrested to for causing a scene as everyone looked at us and laughed at poor Fred.
Seems as though a lot of his behavior issues could be taken care of by a dog trainer dressed as the Grand Canyon. And I probably would recommend that to others as well.
Even after such a big arrest as R2D2, Fred and the Grand Canyon, it became apparent yesterday afternoon that another arrest was to be made. Summary of arrest for the last report so far this week? Girl Person’s pants tore. Drug store shoes with hole in them now. And an elk who did not pay for his camping spot, attempted to scare us out of ours, chased after us, Girl Person tried to protect us by falling on us and he ultimately ran the other way. Elk?
I did not change your name for this report because I do not know your last name and therefore am not giving away your full identity. Anyway, you are now on the run, and I hope that at least until Friday, you keep running. The next time I want Girl Person falling on us is never.
I am tired now. Trying to protect the guilty’s identity is pretty much not what I do. When you are guilty…well, the punishment must fit the crime. And the only punishment I know is to not grace you with my handsome after Friday, except for Fred, who just has to live with it. That is punishment enough for anyone. Harsh? I think so. But as Sheriff, I have to uphold the law. Even at the Grand Canyon.
Everyone? At the end of tomorrow’s blog, we have a really big giveaway for three of our fans from 4-Legger who makes organic dog shampoo. It is the only shampoo we use, and we want you to win some. Come back tomorrow…or….you will be arrested too. Just ask R2D2, Fred, the Grand Canyon and Elk with no last name.
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle
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