This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. Well, this might be the fastest arrest of a state so far on this trip. But when you get run over, is that not enough to warrant an arrest? You cannot argue with that.
There I was yesterday. Minding my own business and being a Sheriff. I had already hiked about three miles with Deputy Digby Pancake and Girl Person. So now, it was my afternoon off which entails a snack inside, a quick nap, and then I go outside with Girl Person while she washes dishes in the dirt and I supervise while having another snack. Then, after about ten minutes of supervising, I need a second shift, so the Deputy comes out to also take a nap and pretend to watch the campground. It was then, at this time in our work day, that I decided to take a little siesta. You know, a siesta. And then. This. Happened.
I can’t make this stuff up. I knew about the Roadrunner. And I knew of his speed. I also knew of his feud with the Coyote. However. I assumed that this would stay back in the Texas place we just left. So my guard was down. Oh, never again Roadrunner. As Girl Person was washing her forks and spoons in the dirt, she saw it run right over me. Well, I jumped up, not knowing what in the world had just happened. I mean, who runs over a Sheriff on his lunch break? This guy.
No, it’s not everyday you get run over by a Roadrunner. It is probably not everyday that the Roadrunner comes across a Sheriff, a Deputy and a Girl Person in the middle of the desert taking siestas and washing coffee pots outside.
But New Mexico? If this is how you operate, by letting your criminals run free and letting them run over visiting law enforcement, I have no choice. No choice. No warnings. No probation. We may have over a week left here still, but news flash. You. Are. Arrested. There are many more sunsets to see here and many more days for you to be under arrest.
I hear your pleas New Mexico. Your Roadrunner was here first, along with all the Jacks around here who are disguised as Jackrabbits and are messing with the jacks on our Big Blue Treat Wagon RV. But that is no excuse to let them continue their crime spree. And as Sheriff, my jurisdiction runs far and wide. It also does not like to be run over.
Now. What I will do is allow you to raise some bail for the next week, namely peanut butter cookies, and that way we can enjoy your hiking, your deserts, your food and your beauty.
But I tell you what. I will rethink this if I get run over again and or if Jack and the Roadrunner collaborate on another ambush. If the Roadrunner was in fact looking for the Coyote, he probably should not have been looking for him in the Chihuahuan Desert where we are. Dogs rule here Roadrunner, and you didn’t even help Girl Person dry the dishes.
Well, today, we really aren’t sure what is going on with our schedule. The persons are going to see if there is a vacant camping spot here in Carlsbad, but if not, we will be on the road again, inching our way towards Santa Fe. We still have at least 7 more hours to get there in this Big Blue Treat Wagon and that is a long way to go. And there is no room for Roadrunners in here. Or Jacks.
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-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle
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The gall, Sheriff, the absolute GALL!! I mean, can’t they scurry a different way?? Are they trying to get arrested??? Who do they think they are?? You poor poor, Siesta-Lovin’ Sheriff. Is no one safe anymore???!!! Keep those beautiful eyes peeled, and nose to the ground, please, for the sake of all of us!! We need you, Sir, and your side-kick (even though he might have been siesta-ing too!!!) to help us!!! Love you all, safe travels!!! <3