This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. However. Today, I am going to be adding to my title as Sheriff. You know it. This. Is. Texas Ranger Peanut Butter Brickle.
Now. You may ask yourself. How did a Sheriff become a Texas Ranger? Well, haven’t you ever heard of a honorary title? A honorary Texas Ranger? Just ask some boy person named Chuck Norris.
I heard about this. And ever since we arrived in Texas, I knew that I would also receive a honorary title of Texas Ranger. From myself.
‘Cause the rule of law and order starts at the Texas border,
With the Lone Star of the Ranger shining bright.
You may ask yourself. How can a Sheriff give himself a honorary title of Texas Ranger? You don’t need to know the details. But Sheriff Brickle can do that. I also figured that since we are only here until Saturday, that the courts would not have enough time to question this honor that I have given myself. Also, they may thank me for bestowing such an honor on myself after they see just how much I have accomplished and or arrested this week. And I have six days to do it.
The first of my arrests is going to be the state of Arkansas. Arkansas? You heard me.
In the eyes of a ranger,
The unsuspected stranger
Had better know the truth of wrong from right
Yes, I know that we left there a little less than two weeks ago. But sometimes, you get evidence later, and for that Arkansas place, there is no statue of limitations on this one my friends. First of all, you made us dig two days for diamonds at your Crater Of Diamonds State Park. Second of all, someone found a 7 carat diamond when we left. Third, we dug in that same dern stream both days. And last. We found no Jim or gems. We found no carrots of carots. And instead, you decided to let a little boy person find the biggest one ever since 1972 when we left. And do you think that is coincidence? Absolutely not. We dug all that dirt and did all that work, and you are not welcome little boy person. And Arkansas? Oh. You are totally arrested. Do you know how many peanut butter cookies that could have bought?
So Texas? That is my first arrest. And it is a good one. Arresting another state is probably something that none of your Texas Rangers have ever done. And I highly doubt your Chuck Norris ever did. Did I mention that I was a man when I was a baby? I don’t think Chuck Norris can say that. How was I a man when I am a dog? That is not important and also not in the paperwork when I applied for this honorary title and put my paw of approval on it.
When youre in Texas look behind you,
Cuz that’s where the rangers are gonna be
You may wonder if my Deputy Digby Pancake is also now a honorary Texas Ranger?
Since he is a Deputy, it was not so apparent that he should be given this title in my opinion. I asked my myself my opinion however. And since I need him as backup, I have given him the honor as well. I asked for a bribe to do this as Sheriff, but as a Texas Ranger, I won’t arrest my old self for this.
There is too much work and or arrests to be done in the six days we have left here. This is our nice picture to throw everyone off. Would Texas Rangers pose in blue bonnets? No. We are fooling everyone.
I have told Girl Person and Boy Person that they need a break this week, which is why we are here in this Texas place until Saturday. Yes, we know it is a few extra days. But this state is big, our bodies are growing a little tired, and um, there is wine in this here part of Texas. So as a honorary Texas Ranger, I am allowing them to take it easier this week. We had our Texas rescue visit last week with the Humane Society of Central Texas and it was a good one.
But this week we will be highlighting the animals from another Texas rescue since we have some extra days here which is ran by the Associate Director of the Humane Society, April. Wow. She has alot of jobs and titles too. Her rescue is called Long Way Home and she has some wonderful adoptable animals. Don’t miss them on our Facebook page this week or you will be added to the list of Texas arrests. Oh, you don’t live in Texas? As a Texas Ranger, I don’t particularly care for details. Don’t mess with Texas. And don’t mess with Sheriff Texas Ranger Peanut Butter Brickle. Or Willie Nelson. I don’t know why.
So fans? Are you ready for a great few days more in this Texas place with your honorary Texas Ranger? I am proof that dreams can come true if you make them come true for yourself. Oh, a Sheriff as a Texas Ranger? I thank myself for this title. I accept this title from myself. And I am ready for action.
-Texas Ranger Peanut Butter Brickle
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