This is Deputy Digby Pancake. Why in life is there so much stuff? Stuff, stuff, stuff. Stuff that we go to the store and buy. Stuff that we live in. Stuff that we drive around in. And stuff that breaks…at least that is how it goes for us. And it seems like the more stuff you have, the more stuff you have that breaks and the more stuff that you have to take care of, pay for and worry about. I have no idea what worrying is.

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The persons have tried to cut back on all the stuff in our life. But we have to have that car thing and of course a place to call home, the Big Blue Treat Wagon. This week, and weekend, both of these things decided that they wanted to remind us that we didn’t need to purchase more stuff in our life, because we didn’t want to get caught up in that again. This is enough to worry about for the persons.  After trying to fix them all week, we sure don’t want any more stuff except for pancakes. This diet is on my nerves.

Girl Person says it is a good and a bad thing that Boy Person knows how to fix stuff. Good thing is, he can fix stuff. Bad thing is, he never asks for any help. So he worked real hard this week, but it seemed like the harder he worked, the worse the stuff broke. As he was just about to finish fixing the car and the oil leak, he dropped a bolt. A bolt thing that was needed to put the car back together again. Well, when you park in a pile of rocks, finding a bolt is like finding a certain pancake in a pancake stack. It probably can’t be done. After hours of the persons on their stomachs in the rocks trying to find this bolt thing, they decided maybe they should get a metal detector. Genius idea. Why isn’t there a pancake detector by the way? Oh, there is. That’s me.

Well, I am gonna shorten a long boring story of people on their stomachs in a pile of dirt with Florida bugs, people going by honking their horns at person butts in the air in the pile of rocks and etc., etc. Now, I will add, the persons were supposed to have an appointment wth their friends at a certain time. And now Girl Person was getting upset. What would they do? I mentioned Boy Person can fix most stuff. But it isn’t always fixed right. He tied the car back together with a zip tie, they showered from being in the dirt in the rocks and off they went to dinner. Until they realized they had no gas in the car. Who was in this car last, they asked each other. Back and forth, back and forth, like looking in a pile of rocks.

Well, sometimes if you stop for gas, you have that chance that your car may not start again. Oh…other people don’t have that problem? Huh. Well yeah, they stopped for gas, already an hour late and the car said nope. The battery was now dead. If you have ever seen a Girl Person late for dinner after digging in a pile of rocks for a bolt, and using a metal detector with a dirty butt, you will know what I am talking about. She was not too happy. A nice man decided he would help them, and now, Boy Person was pushing the car down the road with Girl Person wondering where the nearest wine store was… and then, after a long, long time, the car started. They were off. They had their nice dinner and their friends helped them jump the car again. And they were tired. I was mad they didn’t bring me home a doggy bag.

Now. After a good night’s sleep after my midnight howl and scream, it was time for a new day.  Time to try and get the car battery fixed.  Oh.  I will mention that Boy Person apparently thought parking in a hole and a ditch was a good idea the night before and it took them an hour to push the car out to start it to go and try and find another battery.  Except. It wasn’t the battery.  How do I know this?  Boy Person had to walk miles and miles to find out he needed a new starter. That’s what happens when you have a car broke down and need parts.  You walk. I could have saved them all this trouble.  The car wouldn’t start.  Starter.  Duh.

I will make another long story short again and tell you that Boy Person was dirty after this day.  Boy Person was tired.  And Boy Person swore that we were gonna get out of this Florida place at the end of this week no matter what.  Seems like the longer we stay, the more things are breaking.  Might as well see what happens, I say.  Plus, they never found that bolt.  Makes you wonder where it went.  Should’ve just went with my original suggestion to fill the car with maple syrup. That’s good stuff.

-Deputy Digby Pancake

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