This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  First things first.  Welcome to Illinois!  And.  Introducing Mousegate.

It’s true.  We have a criminal in here that we are unable to locate.  He is on the run, yet, he broke in and is also among us, which actually makes no sense.  He also hitchhiked from Iowa to Illinois with us yesterday.  Illinois?  Ill-annoy-us!  Mouse!  You are wreaking havoc with your criminal activities in this Big Blue Treat Wagon.

We thought he was gone.  Is it a he?  I have no clue.  I guess it doesn’t matter.  A criminal is a criminal.  And when a criminal tries to wreck this RV going down the interstate carrying 2 Traveling Dogs, it is cause for immediate arrest.  Problem is, we cannot catch him.  Girl Person screaming at the top of her lungs as we are going down the road, Boy Person yelling at the same time, Sheriff Brickle jumping up on top of the couch and general mayhem is enough to give you a heart attack.  Unless you are me, and then I just stay asleep because I stole Brickle’s bed in all the chaos and I am not giving that up.

As we pulled over at a rest station, Boy Person got another trap out which by the way does not harm this criminal, just traps him.  We put it where we thought he went and Girl Person got a trash can to try and catch it in if it ran across her feet again.  Now, I will tell you, about this time, as Girl Person was sitting on the floor, it ran across her lap and you want to talk about screaming.  The trash can did not catch it.  The Sheriff certainly didn’t arrest it…and I stayed in bed.  So.  That was that.  And we lost him again.

Now, we have this criminal up in here trying to pretend he is a mouse and not a criminal when in fact he is both.  He is eating our wires, our treats and yep, Brickle’s matzo.  How will we catch him?  Oh, we don’t know.  If we follow all of our fans’ advice, we should fill our house with cotton balls of peppermint oil, dryer sheets, peanut butter, cheese and burnt food while holding a bucket of water to catch it in.  Ok.  Cool.  But is Disney World around here in this Illinois place?  Or anywhere else that a mouse would like to live?  If we can possibly negotiate with him, perhaps he will go in peace.  If not, Mousegate continues tomorrow.

Many want us to kill the mouse.  Or trap it in not nice ways.  We understand that it is causing us problems.  But as with all creatures on this earth…even the ones that cause us inconvenience, they serve a purpose. They are a life.  And we respect that.  Therefore, as Deputy Digby Pancake, I am informing you that we will find a way to help this mouse to a new home.  And hopefully one he likes.  IF we can catch him.  Hope he isn’t as smart as these mice…

We have arrived Illinois!  2 Traveling Dogs and mouse.  Let’s do this!

-Deputy Digby Pancake