This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. Let me be the first to welcome you to the state of Kansas! Are you ready? I’m pretty much not because yesterday was pretty much the longest drive ever. Bad wind. Bad smokey driving conditions. Bad roads. And Boy Person had a bad sneezing fit all day long. So yeah. It was quite a drive.
The only place we could stop along the way from Colorado to take a break got arrested in five seconds because as soon as I stepped out of the Big Blue Treat Wagon with my pretty paws (yes my paws are pretty), I got thorns all in them. Deputy Digby Pancake did too, and Girl Person stepped into the bathroom there to hear all kinds of noises so we promptly evacuated the area. What noises you say? I would rather not say.
So Kansas? I can’t believe this, but I am about to arrest you already. This has to be a record on our trip so far. You have today to make up for your infractions. And you better believe that we are going to have fun here or else you are going to get a really harsh sentence. The Sheriff is in town, Kansas. I have a Deputy with a hankering for a plate of pancakes, some persons hankering for a few bottles or six of wine, and I am looking for some peanut butter cookies. If our fans can point us in the right direction, sure would appreciate some itinerary suggestions.
Every state has some awesome things, beauty and reasons to be proud! So let’s do this Kansas. Let’s make you shine. I don’t want any trouble as Sheriff, but if you blow any more dirt or sand our way, I am going to find some red shoes like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz to get us out of here. Yes, for my pretty paws. So come on Kansas! It’s a new day. Let’s do this.
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle