This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. First order of business for today? Rhode Island? Your roads. Are. Arrested.
It had to be done. It had to be. Now, I love you as a state. You have pretty beaches and houses and farms and good food. But your roads? They are something out of nightmares.
I cannot imagine how your roads could be so bumpy. If dogs could cuss, there would have been a few short words from Deputy Digby Pancake yesterday. Yes, I know that he should not do such a thing, but his pancakes were getting beat up. Real bad.
Speaking of pancakes, I have a question that actually has nothing to do with pancakes. Why in the world are your milkshakes called cabinets? And why are they called Awlful Awlfuls? Once again, I am going to have to add to your arrest report today. Try drinking an Awlful Awlful cabinet on a bumpy road. Nuff said. Actually, it’s not. You. Are. Arrested.
But I am going to let you go until we leave Monday for Massachusetts which is already leaning towards an arrest because who can spell that?
Have a great, long weekend everyone!
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle
That is wicked awesome!!!!
Rhode Island is my home state! Be sure to stop in at Iggy’s in Warwick or Narragannsett for a pail of clams, doughboys, and chowda!
Oh, and be sure to get your Eclipse coffee syrup…
And have some Del’s Frozen Lemonade before you hit the road.
And check out Cumberland Farms!
Wave at Woonsocket (my hometown) as you drive by on 95 into Mass…
Hope you’re having a great time.
Pat
Yes the roads are awful in Michigan arrest them when you get here
Just wait for the roads in Michigan. But it is easier to spell.
I was HOPING you would arrest those roads!
Where are you going in Massachusetts, that’s where I live.
ROTFLMAO……………..I gotcha Sheriff.