This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. This is technically our second day in North Carolina, although I can’t really remember much of the first because we were so tired. The RV broke down again. Boy Person fixed it again. And well, you guessed it…
Big Blue Treat Wagon? You. Are. Arrested. I have had enough. I tried to give you warnings. I did. But you didn’t listen. In fact, let me recount what you did. You waited until we were on some big bridge in South Carolina and you quit. You started smoking. Then you shut off right as Boy Person was about to drive you over the hump. Girl Person started praying out loud, and real loud and we thought you were gonna run us over in our car. But nope. Boy Person took control and got you up that bridge and coasted you down. But then. Yes, then you decided that we had to break down on the side of a busy road with people trying to run us over. Then, yes, a lawn maintenance tractor almost mowed us all down. So yes, you are totally arrested. But Boy Person out smarted you. He fixed you up again, although it took three hours, and we got you to North Carolina. We did. We were all about asleep. Hungry. Tired. After eleven hours of driving, we made it to our next state. And guess what? You ran better than ever after this last round of problems. So am I taking a big chance on arresting you? I am. But you must learn your lesson. You may get time off for good behavior because we need you. But let’s see how it goes. Which leads me to my next arrest which you caused, Big Blue Treat Wagon.
North Carolina? You. Are. Arrested. Why? Well, first of all, the Cheerwine that you have that Girl Person drank to stay awake made her edgy, which made her hyper and when you are in a car for eleven hours, not so good. She must like it because it has wine in the title although there is no wine to be had. Added to the arrest. Then, when we finally made it to you and your campground, someone had locked the gate. There was no emergency number. We were in the middle of nowhere. And stuck. Stuck. The persons were arguing, and let me tell you, we were all exhausted. Did they check to see if the locks were actually locked on the gate? Well, no they did not. And in the morning, they realized we had been parked on the side of the road for nothing. Arrested.
Second point of my North Carolina arrest? Your showers at this campground are something out of a horror movie. And yes, the RV should have a shower, but it is broke and already arrested so what can I do about that? The showers, well, I just can’t explain it. Girl Person says she feels like she is taking a prison shower. Since you are arrested, I guess that is appropriate. But why does your cold, cold water stay on for 20 second intervals and then shut off? What is your deal? Why do you have bar soap in there with flies on it? Why? Oh, yeah, it’s prison. I will say it again. You. Are. Arrested. And don’t bend over.
Despite all of this, you can better believe that we are going to enjoy our stay here. In just a few days we will be heading to our third animal rescue to visit and then to a National Seashore. And Big Blue Treat Wagon and North Carolina? You better cooperate.
Have a great day everyone!
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle