This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. And Girl Person has me on high alert for an ax murderer.
I know, it’s Monday, you are trying to get back to work and recover from the weekend, but this is serious. I have no idea what an ax murderer is, but Girl Person says it is the only explanation for our behavior.
We live in that Florida place, so a lot of people come here to escape the cold or something and they usually only stay for a few months at a time. Since we are on the water, you can imagine that these snow bird persons are here, then gone, then here, then gone. And one of these birds brought an ax murderer. A dog. You may remember the one we talked about, the black and white cocker spaniel dog. AKA ax murderer I guess.
You see, every time we even think we see this dog on a walk with his birds, we flip out. I growl and lunge and Digby does the same. Then we start fighting with each other because we are all worked up and it is chaos and mayhem and sometimes Girl Person ends up on the ground. The bird persons look at us in horror, absolute horror. It has gotten so embarrassing that when they see us, they turn the other way and we bark all the way home. Yesterday, they walked out of there birdhouse, saw us and went back in. Girl Person is mortified.
Girl Person keeps asking us what in the world is our problem. Yes, we love everyone and everything, even the neighborhood cats and rabbits. But how can we like an ax murderer? Girl Person says that is the only logical conclusion to our behavior and that she hopes these birds with their ax murderer leave soon for all of our safety.
Yes, I have told Girl Person she is being over dramatic. That as Sheriff, I am law enforcement and I have no proof yet that this is true. Although now that I think about it, all the chicken bones in our street could be due to the ax murderer!! I am putting it all together now, I really am. Time to get out my pad and paper. I have an arrest to make.
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle