This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. I get blamed for a lot of things, which is ironic because I am in law enforcement and I could have you arrested. I get blamed for dog hair all over the place, for missing peanut butter cookies and for being the most good looking dog in the world. Ok, never mind…
Anyway, what I don’t take the blame for is Girl Person’s issues. So she went to the grocery store today and me and Digby and Boy Person waited in the car for her. She said she only had to get a few things and to just wait. So she was in there and I guess she decided she was super hungry after all the hiking we had just done. She was so hungry that she said she was about to freak out. She saw pound cake and cookies, I’m pretty sure they were peanut butter, and she saw pretzels. She said that they all looked so good and she knew they weren’t healthy for her. But she said she was going to freak out. So she got what she needed and yep. She got the pound cake. And she got the cookies. And she got the pretzels. She said she put them on the counter and all of a sudden she didn’t feel so good about her choices. She said that she knew everyone was looking at her, especially the cashier person. She said she just knew they were wondering why she was buying all this junk food. She is nutso. As nutso as those peanut butter cookies.
The cashier asked her if she found everything she needed. She said, yep, everything was for her kids and she found everything just fine. The cashier said that she must have some hungry kids. She said yep, real hungry. They are waiting for me in the car, I better go. He said he would carry her bags out. Uh oh. Girl Person said no, they don’t like strangers. they may bark. Yep, she pulled out the crazy card to cover up her hungry, junk food card. Oh, Girl Person…I do not like strangers, true, but I don’t like pretzels either, and well…hand over the cookies. Oh, and next time get an apple if you’re gonna go through all this. The cookies are mine by the way.
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle