This is Deputy Digby Pancake. How has your day been so far? Have pancakes been a part of your day? Do tell.
This morning as we were loading into our car it occurred to me. Why am I not driving this car? Why haven’t I been allowed to drive? I should know how to do it by now, I have been learning for years! But every single time, I get shoved in the seat without a steering wheel and have to put a seat belt on and not drive. Not drive to IHop. Not drive to a pancake drive thru, wherever that is. Not acceptable. So move over persons. I’ve got this.
If you would only let me drive, it would be to your benefit too. I highly doubt I would ever get a ticket because I am so cute. I would never speed because I have to look out for pancake drive thrus and that takes concentration. I would always stop and get gas before the car runs out because I could go into the gas station and buy pancakes or ice cream or peanut butter cookies, but preferably pancakes. I would give the steering wheel great shine with my drooly drool. And last but not least, Sheriff Brickle could sit in the passenger seat and flash his badge at law breakers. He said we could be undercover. I like this, I like this.
So persons? It’s time to think about a designated driver. That’s me, Digby. I’ve got this.
-Deputy Digby Pancake