This is Deputy Digby Pancake. It’s been a ruff week with antenna monsters and pine needle pant monsters. My paws are a mess from dictating all of Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle’s arrest reports. Even Girl Person has been arrested, and since she makes the pancakes and peanut butter cookies around here, we did let her go on probation and gave her a sentence of making aforementioned pancakes and cookies.
I decided yesterday to take a break from all the arresting and commotion and go sit by the water. I was relaxing in my Deputy sort of way while dreaming about pancakes. Girl Person was sitting there too with Brickle and they were working on the computer thing. That is when I felt it and thought that I was dreaming.
Slimy slime slime on my legs. Little legs and feet and slime slime on me. I first thought that maybe I was drooling maple syrup like in my dream. I opened my eyes real slow like and that is when I saw it. Lizard monster on me! Lizard monster I tell you!!!
I jumped up so fast that I almost fell in the Gulf of Mexico and Girl Person almost dropped her computer thing. Peanut Butter Brickle didn’t take very well to having his head stomped on by my pancake legs and he grabbed my collar. That is when the lizard monster jumped on HIS head and Brickle knocked over Girl Person’s chair IN the Gulf of Mexico. Girl Person grabbed us and said we had to go inside while she figured out how to get the chair out of the ocean. She said fish don’t need chairs. Well, maybe lizards do so they stop sitting on me which causes me to jump on Brickle which causes him to knock chairs in the ocean that the fish don’t need to sit on.
Are you serious? I mean really. All these episodes this week are gonna drive me to drinkin as Granny would say. By drinkin I mean syrup on pancakes which reminds me that Girl Person needs to get cookin. After she gets the chair out of the ocean.
-Deputy Digby Pancake